The Peanut

The little man that has taken over everything in life is almost 6 weeks old.  That's absurd. Where has time gone? It's been a total trip to think back on how small he was the day we came home for the first time as a family of three.  Now all Liam wants to do, other than eat like his dad and sleep, is look around and explore the world around him.  He's wicked strong.  It's so neat to watch him look around and take in all the new sites.

Yesterday after getting home, he woke up and I greeted him with a "hey Peanut!" A big grin followed, which had to have been his way of telling me that was my nickname for him. That, and Chubs because, well, he's plumping up quite nicely! 

He is just a bundle of love and so adorable.  Browning eyes, good complexion, beautiful coloring, and a glorious light brown hair. Looks great in all colors and patterns, and has the sweetest spirit imagineable.

I think it is a little sad how fast he's growing up. We think he's going to be quite the independant little boy, merely because he always wants to be looking out at the world.  Even though I would lvoe for him to stay small for a LONG long time, I'm excited to see how his personality will develop.

Ah, life.

Today was a day filled with many different thoughts and feelings of life in the world.  I was thinking to myself what a wonderful life I have and how much I can't get enough of my little family of three. It's truly amazing to me how much an "oops baby" can change your life.  What started out as a night of upsetting tears and anxiety ended up as a moment of the most pure genuine whole-hearted love looking at me for the first time. 

September 27, 2009 at 4:47 am is when my life, our lives, changed forever.

 How is it possible that so much happiness and love can come from an 8 lb 4 oz 21inch little body?

 How is it possible that a little body that requires so much time and drains every last ounce of energy is the very thing you want to leave everything else behind just to be with?

And how is it possible that even in a stressful, dark, overwhelmed moment, a smile from that little body can melt your heart and bring back the joy and light?

It's amazing.

Then there's the other side to happiness.  I think of those I know who have seemingly endless struggles and trials. Those people who long for happiness, but can never seem to find it. It's so sad to me. It makes me wish I was more able to help these people I care about, so that they might know the happiness I am so lucky to have.

new attempt

not tonight, but I will shortly try to rejoin the blogging world. Now I feel I have more legitimate things to blog about since my little stud Liam joined us almost six weeks ago. As for now, my mind is full and my heart is heavy, as tomorrow I am scheduled to go back to work. I know deep down it is a small sacrifice for our family and will help us reach our long term goals. However, it is so hard to imagine leaving my boy who I am completely head over heels for and haven't been away from for more than 20 minutes since he was born. Today has been so hard for me, and I've tried to manage my emotions as best I can. I am thankful I have family who can watch him while Mom and Dad are working, but no parent wants to leave the care of their most precious treasures to someone else, regardless how trustworthy they may be. I am still keepng a small silent hope that my work will give me the chance to have some work adjustments that will allow me to be with my baby.